Sleep training toddler….is it necessary?
Some say yes…some say no.
Honestly I think it depends on the child and their family.
The most important thing is to find out is what works for you.
Did I sleep train my children…erm…yes…no….kind of?
Well here is my story.
Sleep Training Toddler: Does Sleep Training Work?
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My son was up every two hours the whole first year. When we went into his check ups our doctor said to continue feeding him all through the night as he was barely on the growth charts.
We never tried any sort of cry it out method or sleep training with him the first year.
He slept great from 12 months to about 18 months..then we entered into the 2 year sleep regression.
He started to climb out of his crib at about 18 months so we switched him to a mattress on the floor in his room.
I wish we would have tried this or something like this…but I didn’t know about these options at the time.
At around 2 he was fighting naps tooth and nail and bedtimes were a NIGHTMARE.
Out of desperation I decided to give this sleep program a try (you can check it out here.)
We got some really good information that we applied and noticed a difference quickly.
My son still doesn’t sleep through the night completely…but that just usually means at some point in the night he crawls into our bed and snuggles up.
This doesn’t really bother me as this is about the only time I get to snuggle him anymore so I just embrace it!
My second child we used this sleep program from the beginning.
And she was a GREAT sleeper for the first 4 months.
I had no clue babies could sleep so well.
Then at 4 months things changed.
Nights and naps were not going so well. Could have been the 4 month regression rearing its ugly head.
Then a couple months later my daughter got her first ear infection. Sleep became even worse.
Some of my mom friends recommended “sleep training” or “cry it out”.
Then I brought her to the doctor and described what was going on and right of the bat he would recommend giving her some “tough love” at night.
Then he would look in her ears…sure enough…ear infection!
She never had the “typical” ear infection symptoms . She never ran a fever. She wouldn’t pull at her ears.
She would just howl all night long if she wasn’t held in our arms.
Luckily I listened to my mom gut and we just kept holding her.
Every few weeks we would go back in to find she had another ear infection. She ended up being treated for 5 infections in 4 months.
We had tried chiropractor and were given rounds of antibiotics. Eventually it led us to putting tubes in her ears.
Now she is sleeping better…we can actually lay in the bed and cosleep with her instead of having to be upright in a chair.
I think she could have been a good sleeper…I guess we will see how the next few months go.
Does Sleep Training Work?
I have friends that swear by it.
Personally I am not for cry it out methods (this is why.)
I am comfortable with methods that are gentle and allow me to be with my child the whole time.
With my children we have used this approach and although it does involve a little crying…we were there the whole time so I didn’t feel like I abandoned my baby.
Some children seem to take to some sleep training very quickly and respond very well.
My daughter for example seemed to take well to the method that we used until she started having chronic ear infections.
I am thankful we just gave her cuddles until the issue was fixed.
I would have felt awful if I would have let her “cry it out” only to find out she was actually in pain.
This is why I am not a fan of CIO.
Babies only have one way to communicate needs and wants and that is through crying.
If we stop responding to a baby’s cry….what does that teach them?
That their cries are no longer a way to communicate effectively.
Which will lead to less or no crying…but is that what we want?
Do you want to teach them that crying doesn’t mean anything?
It is something parents should think about before proceeding with a CIO method that involves leaving their child alone to cry for extended amounts of time.
How Long Does Cry it Out Take?
Another downside to cry it out methods is that the cry it out part sometimes needs to be repeated when their is a change or illness.
You may have to retrain after your child is sick, teething, or if you go on vacation.
How long the cry it out method takes depends on the child and family.
Everyone is different so it is difficult to say just how long it will take.
Are there alternatives to sleep training methods like cry it out?
Of course!
You can choose to do a gentle approach to sleep training like this one.
Gentle sleep training programs usually focus on “coaching” your child to put them to sleep with you by there side or in the same room at least.
Some of these methods may involve some crying…but it shouldn’t be as much as a true cry it out method.
You could also try co-sleeping.
This is a popular method that is gaining popularity in the United Stares and has been used all over the world for years.
You can read more about how to co sleep safely HERE.
Co Sleeping with Toddler Pros and Cons
Honestly I don’t think I would have survived without the option of cosleeping with with my little ones during the toddler years.
After our second child was born my son would walk over to our room in the night and want to crawl in bed…and we were so tired…we let him!
Some nights I wish there weren’t children kicking me in the head during the night…but then again there is nothing sweeter then waking up to your child snuggling you and sleeping peacefully.
I had never planned on co-sleeping.
When our babies were little I didn’t like the idea of it because of the risk of SIDS.
I also had c-sections with both of my children and was on prescription pain relievers for a few weeks after they were born.
I would not have felt safe bringing them into bed.
Breastfeeding was also easier for me when sitting up because I had a c-section.
Now that they are both over the 1 year mark and bringing them into our bed has been one of the ways we get the most sleep.
At this point in my life as a parent…that is a huge goal of mine right now!
The bad part about co-sleeping?
Well…you have little ones that move a lot and make wake you up while you are trying to sleep.
I also feel like I would feel better if I got a little bit of a “break” from my kiddos during the night if they were in their own beds.
Oh well…for now more sleep wins!
Often times people are put off by co-sleeping because they are concerned you are creating a “bad habit.”
Well…bad habits can be broken and honestly I don’t know many college students that still need to co sleep with their parents…all good things come to an end!
How you choose to get your child to sleep is up to you.
You have to listen to your gut and do what feels right.
Grab your FREE Milestone Guide HERE.
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Kayla O’Neill has a master’s degree in education as well as a bachelor’s degree in special education with an emphasis in early childhood education. She has been working as a developmental therapist with babies and toddlers in early intervention since 2012. She is also a mom with two young children.